Is that Ironic?

There are many types of irony.  And yet, somehow, people still manage to incorrectly use the word “ironic”.

For example, it is NOT ironic that you were walking to class and saw your ex-boyfriend who you haven’t seen in six months.  Nothing about that situation is ironic.  It IS ironic if you jump on a train to escape the zombies, and then the train crashes into zombies.

Anyway, my sister and I have been discussing the correct use of ironic for a couple of weeks, and now every where I go I look for ironic situations.  Which brings me to my question:

Is it ironic that there is a math section in the public library?

Probably not.  But it is funny.

Which brings me to my story:  I was walking through the non-fiction section of the library, randomly searching for a good book to read (much harder than it sounds) when I saw the title “Mathematics” above one of the shelves. Win!  Who doesn’t want to read a book about math?  Oh, right. . .

Well, anyway, I decided to check out the math section of the library and this is what I found:  Of the four shelves, 3 were empty.  I’m assuming it’s because people now realize the joy that comes from math and have checked out all the good books.

This left the 1, mostly-empty, shelf.  The first book I saw was titled Calculus for Dummies.  Which I didn't really want because Calculus is for everyone, not just dummies.  Plus there was no book called The Book for People Who Think Calculus is Fun and Just Want Math Problems to Work on in Their Spare Time.

The other book was titled [something like] The Five Fingers of Mathematics.  I was unaware any fingers at all existed in math, so I opened the book.  I did not understand a single word in that book.  Seriously, I think they were speaking a different language.

And then I gave up on the math section, because you either have to be a dummy or a freaking genius to understand math apparently.

And as I was leaving the math section I came across this wonderfully enormous book called Miss Manner’s Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior.  And I snatched that book up as fast as I could, because that Ladies and Gentlemen is what a good book looks like.

Yard Work is Much Easier After it Rains

My backyard is a very sad-looking place. It’s very self-conscious, so I try and not talk about it too much, but seriously, it’s depressing out there.  It’s mostly dirt, with a few rocks.  Oh, and lots of weeds - dead weeds - which takes a true amount of un-dedication.

Anyway, my parents felt sorry for me, plus they love me, so they decided to come down this weekend and try and make my backyard presentable.  Side Note:  It totally does now.  Look presentable that is.  But that is not my story.

My story starts last Tuesday when I decided that rather than do homework I would go work on my backyard so my parents would have less work to do when they came down (I know, I’m such a thoughtful child).  I pretended to pull up a few weeds, but that was hard work, so instead I decided to try and remove a tree.  It was just a small tree and very dead, so I figured it shouldn’t be too hard, right?

Wrong.  Removing a tree from the ground is very difficult.  There’s all these roots and things underground and there is no “Underground PeepCam” like in Rollercoster Tycoon, so it’s very difficult to know what’s happening down there.  Consequently, I spent TWO hours trying to remove this stupid tree.  I literally stuck the shovel in the ground and was hanging on it with all my weight trying to get the tree to come out.  It took forever, but eventually I got the whole thing out, and I felt very accomplished.

Fast-forward to Saturday.  There was still another tree in the ground that I had not taken the two hours to remove yet.  So my dad goes out there, gets the shovel, and pulls the tree right out.  I think it literally took him 10 seconds.  What the freak?

But I refused to feel any less-accomplished, on account of it had just rained, which made the ground softer.  Clearly, his task was much easier than mine, so I am completely justified in taking 720 times as long to accomplish essentially the same thing.