Unemployment: Day 51

After making it through a lot of really bad shows on Netflix, I've finally decided to give in and watch Downton Abbey. I'm not sure how I've lasted this long, or why I'm even opposed to it, but here we are.

The slightly edited, mostly original thoughts of someone watching Downton Abbey for the first time.

Episode 1:

1. Hmm, this is confusing.
2. Am I supposed to know what is going on?
3. Seriously, who are all these people?
4. WHAT IS HAPPENING???
5. Hold up, this is Season Three.

Season 1, Episode 1:

1. I've already seen the first 20 minutes of this episode? I have no memory of this. Better start from the beginning.
2. Amazon Prime doesn't want me to start from the beginning? Fine. Let's start 20 minutes in. It's probably not that important.
3. Okay, great. This is the beginning.

Season 1, Episode 2:

1. Did you know it's Downton Abbey and not Downtown Abbey? I didn't.
2. One time I tried to watch DA with my family, but I was really confused about who all the characters were. Even watching it from the beginning, I'm still pretty confused.
3. You know what else has the initials DA? Dumbledore's Army. Too bad this isn't Harry Potter.
4. Do you think she is really riding side-saddle? Or do you think she has a fake leg named Henry?
5. Just had to do a Google search for "name of fake leg in princess diaries 2." The first search said "...Clarissa introduces her to 'Henry,'" but everyone knows the Queen is named Clarisse.
6. Hmm, just opened up that website. The author first introduces the Queen as Queen Clarisse Rinaldi, but then refers to her as Clarissa through the rest of the article. Does anyone have a degree in Genovian history that could explain this to me? Thanks.
7. Speaking of which, I think for my next career I'm going to be one of the historians on the History Channel shows.
8. Just kidding, I'd have to get an advanced degree in History to do that. I don't even know what the job openings at the History Channel are like.
9. Maybe I could be the lady at the beginning of DA who says, "I'm Laura Linney, and this is Masterpiece Classic." Do you think she's looking to move on?
10. Just kidding. Twitter just told me that the final series of DA is coming soon. There goes that career plan.
11. I always thought the bells in Cinderella were a bit ridiculous and over the top. Turns out, that's a normal thing. Well, normal for rich people.
12. Don't let the credits fool you. Mr. Bates and the Butler are actually played by the same person. Also, I'm fairly certain they used time travel in order to have the same person play the Mom and her oldest daughter.
13. Carson, that's his name. Is he the Butler? Or what is his title?
14. Maggie Smith is amazing. I might actually be watching Harry Potter right now.

Season 1, Episode 3:

1. Mr. Bates just got a fake leg! Do you think he named it Henry?
2. Wait, why is he throwing the fake leg in the river?
3. I just finished Episode 3 and realized I paid attention to a total of three minutes. No wonder this show is so confusing to me.

Season 1, Episode 4 - The Episode of the Really Good Hats:

1. By far the best part of this series is the opening music.
2. Ooh! The new chauffeur is the same actor who plays the new heir, whatever his name is. That brings the total cast for this show up to four.
3. I shall call this episode the Episode of the Really Good Hats.
4. Matthew! That's the name of the new heir. It's hard to keep track of everyone.

Grateful in Any Circumstance

Yesterday at church there was a great lesson about gratitude.

I like talking about gratitude because I have a lot of things to be thankful for. This makes it easy to be grateful.

For example, air conditioning is awesome. I also like cars. And planes. And having a job. I've got an amazing family. My bed is very comfortable. I haven't seen a scorpion in a day.

See? Lots of things to be thankful for.

Anyway, on Sunday the lesson came from this talk by Dieter F. Uchtdorf. He said,

"Perhaps focusing on what we are grateful for is the wrong approach. It is difficult to develop a spirit of gratitude if our thankfulness is only proportional to the number of blessings we can count. ... It is easy to be grateful for things when life seems to be going our way. But what then of those times when what we wish for seems to be far out of reach?

Could I suggest that we see gratitude as a disposition, a way of life that stands independent of our current situation? In other words, I'm suggesting that instead of being thankful for things, we focus on being thankful in our circumstances - whatever they may be."

Later he goes on to say that being grateful doesn't mean we are pleased with our circumstances. Instead, it allows us to look past our current challenges.

I loved this lesson. Yes! Let's all go be grateful in our circumstances because they are awesome right now! That's what I was thinking.

Then I woke up this morning.

Recently (and by recently, I mean today) I decided to start going back to the gym. I've also decided to start drinking smoothies for breakfast (as of today). On my way to the gym, my smoothie managed to spill itself all over my passenger seat floor (no, it wasn't my fault). 

I also broke my new goggles at the gym this morning.

Then, the drain in the shower decided it no longer wanted to be a drain.

By the time I got back to my car, the smoothie situation had not gotten any better (and by that I mean the smoothie had not magically cleaned itself up.)

It was a rough morning.

Well, it should have been a rough morning. Instead, I found the entire thing very entertaining. It seemed silly to get mad at such little things. Crying also seemed like an inappropriate response, which is why I laughed. Besides, nothing I had to deal with today is going to have a lasting, negative impact on my life. (Well, probably. I guess it depends on how long it takes me to get my car washed.)

In fact, no matter what our circumstances are, we can always have a spirit of gratitude. I realize that other people have to deal with things much more complicated than a smoothie-infused mat. Laughing about it may not always be the right answer, but getting angry usually doesn't fix problems either.

If you can't do what you want, do what you can.

That's the quote that's on the school for problem children down the road from me. I love it. It's my new life motto.

There you go. A lesson on gratitude and it's not even November.

Oh, and by the way, I had an excellent rest of the day. Thank you for asking!

The Dangers of Keeping a Journal

When I was five years old I got a journal. I know that I was five when I got the journal because my journal says:

"We went to target and mom bought me a really cool journal. I am five years old." (spelling corrected).

At the bottom of the page was a note: "Written by Alec (older sis)" I always get disappointed when I read that because it kills the illusion that I was a five-year-old genius.

When I read this I sometimes wonder what my mom was thinking when she bought me a journal. I was five years old. Even though I could count really high, my writing skills were still lacking. Also, it's comforting to know that my love for office supplies has been with me since birth. What other five-year-old asks their mom for a journal from Target?

It's things like this -- having record from being five years old and knowing "I have a great mom and dad. They are very nice." -- that make people think keeping a journal is a good idea. It is also the reason that I have 12 journals from the past 17 years of my life. Well, that and my love of office supplies.

However, I want to warn people about the dangers of keeping a journal. First of all, I have 12 journals just sitting around my room. Those things start to get heavy. Plus, at least two journals are from before middle school. No one needs a daily record of what happened in elementary school.

[February 18, 2000 - I changed my report to a rat.]

But the real problem with keeping a journal is that some things are not meant to be written down. And if they are written down, they should be burned. Which is what I realized when I started looking back at some of my journals.

Unfortunately, the state of Arizona is in the middle of fire season and lighting things on fire is discouraged.

If You Thought I Was Awkward Before, You Should See Me Now

This weekend I had to go dress shopping for my graduation dress.

That's right, I'm graduating! Well, probably. I have to finish my thesis first. It's not going well...

Anyway, I'm a bit in denial that graduation is actually happening. What I mean to say is, I know that graduation is happening for SOME people, I just don't know that it's happening for me. On account of the thesis.

On the off chance that the paper decides to write itself, though, I feel I should be prepared, which is why I went shopping this weekend.

I don't know when I first knew that Banana Republic was the greatest clothing store ever. It may have been when I was nine and found out it was very expensive. Or when I was 15 and read All American Girl where the heroine gets three suits from BR. It might have been two years ago when I got my first BR dress. Or a year and a half later when I got my first suit. Or a month ago when I got my first LBD. What I'm trying to say is, Banana Republic has been there for all of my major life moments.

It only seemed fitting that I buy my college graduation dress there as well.

I walked into the store on Saturday and tried on many dresses, but couldn't find any I loved. I figured the best way to deal with the disappointed would be to head to the Barnes and Noble across the street. When that didn't work, I went to the library.
 

This is a true statement. There is a book out there to combat any type of evil you could ever imagine.

I walked out with four books that I'm calling my road map to success.

1. The Southwest Airlines Way by Jody Hoffer Gittell. My thesis is about planes and Southwest Airlines. This book is about planes and Southwest Airlines. It's just basic math.

2. What They Don't Teach You in College: A Graduate's Guide to Life On Your Own by James M. Kramon. When I picked this book up, I read: How Not to Freak Out About Graduation. Then I read the first page and found out it's actually about contracts and insurance and taxes. I'm not sure I'll actually get around to reading this one, but seeing it on my shelf makes me feel better about life.

3. Miss Manners' Guide for the Turn-Of-The-Millennium by Judith Martin. You can't imagine my excitement to discover yet another Miss Manners book. Where else can you find gems such as, "'Isn't etiquette always a matter of making other people feel comfortable?' This would make politeness an activity exclusively for suckers and wimps. And, of course, sluts." Nowhere, that's where.

4. Jane Austen's Guide to Dating by Lauren Henderson. This one would take too long to explain, and even then I'm not sure it would make sense. But while I'm reading this, my sister is reading What Southern Women Know About Flirting: The Fine Art of Social, Courtship, and Seductive Flirting to Get the Best Things in Life. Be prepared for updates on what we are learning. So far, she has learned that a nose job is a good investment. I've learned that straight men only give compliments when they want to sleep with you. These are important life lessons.

Zombies, Run!

 I love running.

#truestory

Sometimes it's hard to be motivated to go running, though. That's when I discovered Zombies, Run! It's probably the greatest app since Shazam.

This app tells a story about zombies attacking you while you run. Zombies start breathing in your ear, and if you don't run fast enough you get ambushed.

It is so great.

You could go running during the daytime, but I recommend going at night. Preferably through dimly-lit areas. It really adds to the excitement.

Now, I'm not one of those crazy people who actually believe in zombies. If/when the zombies attack, though, I want to be prepared.

Addictions

Addictions are hard to break.

For example, this morning I realized that I'm addicted to Tetris. 

Do you have any idea how long it takes to reach Level 43? I'm not talking about that one game, which is a ridiculous amount of time in and of itself, but it also means hours of practice in previous games.

Now, I don't show this picture to brag or anything, but to show just how much time I have devoted to becoming an expert at Tetris.

This evening I almost started another game before I realized I'm supposed to be breaking this addiction. I bowed my head in shame and closed the internet screen before I had a chance to change my mind, then quickly reopened it to share my story.

Amidst all the difficulty, though, it's nice to know that at least I can add Tetris Expert to my list of Renaissance Summer achievements.

Card Table Refinisher

Today I refinished a card table, and since a picture is worth a thousand words:

Unfortunately, that picture doesn't do this project any justice. It doesn't show the awful state the card table was in before I fixed it. It doesn't describe how sad I was when my mom wouldn't let me use the staple gun. Nor does it show how great the new, un-padded table is for board games and puzzles.

Which means that this picture is full of 1000 useless words.

But I love it anyway.

Spray Paint Artist

Like any good Renaissance story, this one starts in Rome.

Now, don't be confused. This isn't your normal 'American goes to Europe to be inspired to become a writer/painter/sculptor' (see: American in Paris, National Lampoon's European Vacation, Midnight in Paris). When I went to Rome I didn't want to become just any artist, I wanted to become a spray paint artist.

These people can be found all over the world, painting a national landmark against the backdrop of the planets:

Somehow, these artists have yet to come to Tucson. There is a lot of potential things people in Arizona could be throwing in front of planets -- the University of Arizona 'A', mountains, the Grand Canyon, copper mines -- endless possibilities. Not to mention, everyone talks about how beautiful Arizona sunsets are, why isn't anyone spray painting those beauties onto canvas boards?

However, after more wanderings around Europe, I realized that I couldn't limit myself to just spray paint art this summer, there were so many other random things I wanted to learn to do. For example, the more I traveled, the more holes I found in my clothes inspiring my goal to learn to darn. I also decided to become a sew-er while I was at it. While wandering my homeland I realized that I also really wanted to learn Danish. I have no idea why, but it just seemed like a good idea.

I went home and got started right away. On my way home from the airport my mom and I bought some fabric. The next day I went to the library and picked up a huge pile of books to help with my "learner of all knowledge" goal. Then I downloaded 5 learn Danish apps. I also watched a few YouTube videos about spray painting.

And then I got stuck. It turns out that spray paint art starter kits (yes, they're a thing) are expensive. And books are long and sometimes boring. Not to mention that sewing a skirt requires doing more than just sewing two sides of fabric together.

Baby steps, I reminded myself. The Renaissance didn't happen in a day, the world was at it for 300 years! If I can get in done in a summer I'm already 299.75 years ahead of them.

So tonight I finally started doing stuff. I finished my needlework art I bought in Florida. Not only is this the first needle craft I've ever actually finished, I finally learned how to do a French knot! (This has been plaguing me since my first needle craft at my Grandma's house, Utah, 2004.)

Day 1 ----> Finished Project

Tonight I also learned how to play poker in French. It's pretty much the same as English poker, except the words are in French.

I already feel so cultured. I can't wait to see what magical artistic adventures the rest of the summer brings.

Revenge of the iPhone

A while ago I wrote a very touching piece about my iPhone.

I take it all back.

Not really, but we're going through a bit of a rough patch right now.

Let's back up two months.

My mom's phone had just arrived. I was worried about telling my current iPhone that it wouldn't be joining me on my travels around Europe, but instead would be sent home.

I told it how much I was going to miss it and safe travels, then turned it off and put it in my suitcase with most of my other belongings.

And then I put my SIM card in my mom's phone.

For two weeks I traveled with that phone. It connected to wifi. It's battery lasted all day, even when I was using it. The lock button worked.

And then one day in Malta I decided to go scuba diving.

Don't worry, it's not like I brought the thing in the sea with me; it stayed in my backpack. Along with the soap I had brought to help put on the wet suits.

Out of everything in that backpack - which included my tablet, my wallet, and my passport - the only thing that got soap on it was my (mom's) phone. This soap managed to break the lock button (umm, what?) and destroy the back light. I spent the next two weeks squinting at my phone while holding it up to the sun any time I wanted to use it.

Then my sisters arrived in London. And with them came my sister's old phone. You would think that I had learned my lesson by now, but I hadn't and once again I switched the SIM card. It was like a light had been turned on, literally. I could use her phone without squinting. I could take all the screen shots I wanted. I could turn her phone off and back on again without plugging it into the wall.

Then, my sisters and I went to Munich. One day I'll tell this story in unnecessarily full detail, but for now - out of everything in my soaking wet backpack -- my tablet, my wallet, my passport, my sister's phone, her Kindle -- the only thing that got wet was my (sister's old) phone. How does this even happen? And it didn't just get wet, it got never-going-to-turn-on-again-completely-soaking-and-dead wet. This meant I was back to my mom's phone, the one without a working light.

I used that for the rest of our Europe trip, as well as the week I spent in Florida. Then I came back to Arizona, once again plugged in my real phone, and switched SIM cards. Its lock button still doesn't work. It still can't connect to wifi. Its battery still has the shortest attention span ever. But it's my phone. And I love it. Even with all of its flaws.

I just wish it could pull an Bumble Bee and upgrade itself to a better model while still staying true to itself.

Unfortunately, I'm fairly certain my phone is not a Transformer.

There's No Place Like Home

Last Monday I got on a plane to leave Florida. I watched out the window as we passed by endless lakes and trees and green stuff.

A few hours later I watched again as the plane came below the clouds to miles and miles of dirt.

I about lost it right there sitting next to two businessmen as the reality of coming home hit me. As a welcome home gift, though, Arizona did keep the temperature at 99ºF for me. My mom was there to welcome me home. I ran up and gave her a huge hug and didn't leave her side for the rest of the day.

My family has now moved on with their lives, so I've been stuck with the task of filling my own time. I've spent it wisely, though, reading about household manners, becoming a pro at online Tetris, catching up on all the TV shows I don't care about, and mourning the life I had for the past five months.

It doesn't happen often, but when it's 120ºF and everyone tells you not to leave the house, leaving Europe seems like a really bad idea.

When that happens I just try and remember my favorite things about Arizona:

Sunshine all day long and whiskers on cactus

Bright copper mining and warm days to practice

Making embrodiery with colored strings

These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ice cream and conditioner of airs

Tan lines and lane lines and sitting in deck chairs

Children that swim with their cute water wings

These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in sun dresses that will never be cold

Something and something else that rhymes with cold

Palm trees in winter and fun summer flings

These are a few of my favorite things

When it's too hot out

When the bee stings

When I'm feeling sad

I simply remember my favorite things

And then I don't feel so bad

It's a work in progress.

Start Spreading the News...

I stole this picture from http://wallpaperswide.com/lyon_france_at_night-wallpapers.html

I'm leaving today.  We are a great big part of it, New York, NEW YORK*.

Except I'm not going to New York.  But I do have a lay-over in D.C.

I'm really leaving for France.

Two weeks ago someone asked me why I chose France.  I sat there for a while, because I hadn't ever really thought about it.  I just love France.  But after thinking about it I answered Notre Dame.  Oh, and gelato.

I'm going abroad for a semester because of Notre Dame and Gelato.  Which are both located in Paris.  And I'm going to Lyon.

Haha, oops.

When I brought this up with my parents they reminded me about another thing in France which I love - the castle foundation in the basement of the Louvre.

At this point I started freaking out.  Not all the time, just short bursts of panic that would come every once in a while (usually while I was avoiding important things like packing.) So I started making a list of things non-Paris specific that I love.

J'adore the French language, even if all I can say is je parle un peur de français.

J'adore French bread.

J'adore the way France (and Europe) writes the date backwards.

J'adore public transportation and not driving.  Especially not parking.

J'adore wearing a scarf with every outfit.

And I'm sure I will love (I can't translate verbs to the future yet) Lyon.

Even if it's not Paris.  Even if Notre Dame de Fourvière is not the same as Notre Dame de Paris.  And even if there is no gelato.

Wait, I take that back.  If I can't get gelato in Lyon, I'm coming home.

*In case you're wondering, these are not the correct lyrics. He really sings "I want to be a part of it, New York, New York."  But I like my version better...

12/21/12

I leave for France in 15 days.

I'm going to be on vacation for 13 of those days.

Naturally, I have a lot of stuff to do before Saturday.  And I haven't really started any of it.

This has made my mom very stressed and also a little bit mad at me.

But I'm like, "Hey, the world is ending tomorrow, why spend all my time getting ready for things that happen after tomorrow?"

I am going to be in big trouble tomorrow if the world doesn't end.