I Think I Finally Lost It

Every time I think about how close I am to the end of the semester I remember everything I still have to do and how little time I have to do it.

Then I start freaking out and watch Netflix movies and do puzzles instead of the homework I'm freaking out about.

Seriously, in the past 24 hours I finished an entire box of cereal. (I eat cereal when I'm stressed/watching Netflix/doing puzzles.)

Anyway, tonight at midnight I finally decided to write the essay I've been putting off. This is how I started it:

            I’ve been putting off writing this paper for a long time. Partly because I’m a procrastinator and partly because I’ve learned so much this semester about myself and about Tucson and I don’t know how to summarize it all in one paper. But it’s mostly the first one. And now I don’t really have a choice, so here goes.

I hope my teacher appreciates my humor during finals week. Or is as sleep deprived as I am so that she finds this entertaining.

Whatever. At least the paper is done.

Miracles Happen

The weirdest thing happened today. I finished my math homework before midnight. Also, I actually understood what I was doing.

Most of the time I just make math up when I'm doing homework because I have no idea what's going on.

But today I actually knew what my homework wanted me to do, and I could do it!

Prepare yourselves people, the end of the world might be coming.

Kitchen Painter

Four months ago I decided to paint my kitchen.

Within two weeks I had finished the top half.

Two months later I finished the bottom half.

Two weeks after that I finally got around to telling the Internet about it.

So, for the record...

My kitchen looks awesome (finally):

And has hidden inspirational quotes on it:

It's pretty much my own Sistine Chapel. Minus the chapel part. And the Sistine part.

11:11 Make A Wish

Once upon a very long time ago, Plato wrote "I have hardly ever known a mathematician who was capable of reasoning."

About five years ago, '?' on Yahoo Answers went on to explain this further. She said, "Math is all about rules and analysis....Everything has a solution, everything has its theorems and postulates and reasons. I guess some mathematicians would try to apply this to life, and assume everything has a procedure that will get you to the right solution, everything has an answer, everything is able to be analyzed and figured out. This isn't true."

I don't know if anyone else finds that as entertaining as I do, but for some reason I found it extremely insightful. Especially for Yahoo Answers. Also, '?' is completely wrong.

It is true.

This reminded me of a chart I saw once upon a time. I call it the Geek-Nerd Chart:

I'm happy to say that I fall mostly on the nerd side. Except when it comes to Doctor Who, because I love Doctor Who.

Today I watched the episode of Doctor Who where David Tennant regenerates into Matt Smith. It was heartbreaking. Seriously, I started crying. That's probably weird, but have you seen David Tennant as the Doctor? You would start crying, too.

While mourning the loss of David Tennant from my daily life, I found out he also starred in the wonderful movie called The Decoy Bride. So I found it on Netflix and watched it.

Scottish David Tennant plays British James Arber. British Alice Eve plays American Lara Tyler. And Scottish Kelly Macdonald plays... Scottish Katie. It was filmed to promote tourism in Northern Scotland.

As you can imagine, it's not a very good movie. I've already seen it once before and I thought it was awful, but then I realized David Tennant is in it and now it might be my new favorite movie.

Also, did you know David Tennant makes about five cameos in How to Train Your Dragon? They're all on YouTube in 5 second intervals if you want to watch them.

This is what I've been doing all day because I have a test tomorrow. It's amazing what you can find on the Internet when you are supposed to be doing productive things with your life.

I'm really going to miss David Tennant in Doctor Who.

Random Thoughts From This Week

1. Don't watch Dr. Who late at night when you are home alone.

2. Don't make any plans for the 48 hours after you take NyQuil.

3. Thinking about taking NyQuil then going for a drive to see if it really affects your ability to handle heavy machinery is a bad idea. Don't try it.

4. I think my roommate hid the Halloween candy because she thinks I'm addicted to it.

5. Don't eat candy for lunch and dinner.

6. My first thought when I realized the candy was missing was "Why is all the rum gone?" I don't even drink rum.

7. I think my roommate might be right.

8. Using logic to show that the more people die the easier it is to figure out who the killers are in Mafia does not make people think you are a trustworthy citizen.

9. Do not walk to your car alone after playing Mafia. Do not drop your purse on the ground when you are looking for killers under the car. Do not look startled when you hear a car door slam. It just makes you an easy target.

10. Really, it's a miracle I made it through this week.

It's November 5th!

Happy Guy Fawkes Day!

Today, people all over the world Britain are gathering around bonfires to set off fireworks and burn effigies of Guy Fawkes. 

Those of us here in the United States don't really get to celebrate this holiday.  George Washington condemned it during the American Revolution because he was trying to gain the support of French-Canadian Catholics.

(Guy Fawkes Day apparently has a strong anti-Catholic sentiment.)

However, this is all very much off topic.  Back to the story of Fawkes:


In 1605 Guy Fawkes and his friends decided to blow up the House of Lords in order to kill King James I.  Some genius, though, decided to send a letter to one of his friends warning him not to go to Parliament the day they planned to blow it up.  His friend then showed it to the King, who ending up catching Fawkes guarding a whole bunch of gunpowder, right under the House of Lords.

Two lessons can be learned from this:

1) If you plan on killing someone, don't tell anyone who might warn the person you're trying to kill.

2) More people should be celebrated for failing.  This entire holiday came about to honor the failure of Fawkes and the other members of the Gunpowder Plot.  Can you imagine if every time somebody failed we got a holiday out of it?  "I'm sorry you failed this test, but in your honor no one has to come to class next Wednesday."  Or, "I'm sorry that you failed in asking her on a date, but here's some wood.  Go light things on fire."

Personally, I think this would make the world a much better place.  Well, until global warming catches up to everyone's failures and the world spontaneously blows up, but until then, a much better place.


In other news, November 5th is also the day I can enroll in classes for next semester.  At my French school!  Well, I could have if I understood how to enroll, but it turns out everything is in French.

In honor of my failing, I'm going to eat some chocolate cake.

On a more successful note I did manage to sign up for the sports program.  For a small fee you can enroll in a bunch of different classes -- fencing, horseback riding, badminton, tennis, skiing... However, I'm not sure yet if being able to speak, or at least understand, French is an important component.  Luckily, my dad sent me this text today:

"You will be speaking French no problem.  But just in case - hola (with a little gismo above the a) is how you say whoa in French."

I can just see it now:  American girl trying to ride a horse shouting, "Hola with a weird a!  Hola with a weird a!!"

I hope I get a horse that speaks Spanish.

I'm in a Class with Paul Walker, Being Taught by Horace Slughorn

On the first day of math class, my professor showed us a really cool program that will randomly choose positions on a map to see which stops are most commonly used.  It was really only cool because he used a map of the London Underground.

On this first day of class he mentioned London quite a few times, and as I sat there in class I started thinking that he looked quite familiar.  Which doesn't make sense, because I knew I had never seen him before.

And then it hit me with the same amount of force the Whomping Willow hit the Weasleys' flying car:

I'm being taught by Horace Slughorn!

I mean, theory of probability isn't quite the same as a potions class, but there are some definite similarities.  Like they're both taught by Professor Slughorn.

As if this wasn't enough excitement for one semester, I also have a class with Paul Walker.  Well, I'm not sure if it's actually Paul Walker, but every time I try and go up to him and ask if his name is Paul Walker, I just see this:

And how are you supposed to talk to someone when all you can remember is them working so hard to go save the dogs trapped in Antarctica?

Hey, I haven't met you,

So I probably seem crazy,

But you look like Paul Walker

So call me maybe

Probably like that.  Thank goodness for Carly Rae Jepsen, solving the world's problems one stalker at a time.  (For the record, no, I haven't seen her in any of my classes yet.)

Only in a Math Class...

School starts on Monday.  So I decided today would be a good day to go read all the syllabi my teachers have been emailing me about, five times a day, for the past month.  (For you Non-Math majors that comes out to about 150 emails I've received regarding important class information.  For you English majors, that was an hyperbole.)

Most of this information has been boring, repetitive and useless.  Very little of it was confusing.  Until I came to this:

"The two values will be averaged. The integer part of the average will determine the letter grade if the fractional part is less than or equal to .5. If the fractional part is above .5, the value will be rounded toward the paper grade."

I read it once.  Read it again.  And finally on the third time I realized it was saying that if you get higher than 89.5 it's an A and so on.  By about the sixth time I realized what it was really saying.  Your grade has the potential to go up if you average higher than x9.5 -- but only if you write a better paper than you take a math test.  Considering we're all math majors, this doesn't look so good for us...

Only in a math class could understanding the grading system be so confusing.

10 Things to Know Before You Tell People You Want to Go to Law School

10: LSAT scores start at 120.

That's right, even if you only manage to get your name correct, you still get a 120.  If someone tries to sound smart by saying they got a 125 on their LSAT you know they actually only got a 5 on a normal scale.

9: You don't get points taken off for answering incorrectly.

The person who answers no questions and the person who answers every question incorrect still get the same score.  Anyone with $160 and a spare Saturday can say they got a 120 on the test; it's not something to be proud of.  Also, you have to get 15 questions correct to move up to a 121, so if you don't feel like you can do that, it's better to just answer none.

8: LSAT scores only go up to 180.

Some genius decided that the best scale for the LSAT would be from 120 - 180, not 0 - 60 or something reasonable.  Maybe a 0 score just seemed to harsh.  Either way, I now have way more respect for Elle Woods (from Legally Blonde) getting a 179.

7: The LSAT has a section called Logic Games.

More formally known as Analytical Reasoning, this section is filled with brain teaser-like questions - so exciting!  For those lucky enough to also get a Logic Games experiment section they get to do this twice.  (I included this in order to spare others the embarrassment of saying, "They have games on the LSAT?")

6: The writing section of the LSAT is a waste of time.

Law Schools make you submit a personal statement anyway and use that to judge your writing instead of using the writing sample on the LSAT that is there to allow them to judge your writing.  Waste Of Time.

5: It is not necessary to get your undergraduate degree in math.

In fact, most people will think it is really weird that you intend to go to law school with a math degree.  Just something to think about.

4: Know the top 10 law schools, even if you have no intention of going to them.

People are going to be interested in the top 10 law schools, especially when you keep talking about how important they all are.  So you should probably know them.  They are, in order, Yale, Stanford, Harvard, Columbia, U of Chicago, NYU, Berkeley, U of Pennsylvania, U of Virginia, and U of Michigan.

Fun fact - Princeton surprisingly doesn't have a law school.  It did from 1847 to 1852, but then they gave up on it.

3: Know what type of law you plan on going into after law school.

Apparently there are lots of different types of law.  And people are going to be interested in what type of law you plan on pursuing.  If you haven't made this decision ahead of time, you may end up saying the first thing that comes to your head and sounds reasonable, which will probably be Corporate Law.  (I'm not even sure if that's a real thing, but it sounds good.)

2: Have good reasoning for that type of law.

Enjoying watching the show Suits on USA is not good reasoning for wanting to go into Corporate Law.  Not knowing any types of law is also not a good reason for choosing Corporate Law.

1: Read books & study up about your chosen path.

After telling everyone you intend to go into Corporate Law you should study up on it.  Because Corporate Law actually sounds like the worst type of law to go into.  After not sleeping for three years of law school, you'll then have to work 18 hour days and sleep in a sleeping bag at your office in your spare time.  (At least, that's what the fictional book I read told me Corporate Law would be like.) However, thanks to my other fictional book, Antiquity Law is looking really good.  Sadly, I think a graduate degree in some sort of antiquity study might be necessary.  Also, Antiquity Law might be fake.

Celebrate the Little Things

You know what's annoying?

The last couple weeks of school.  It's supposed to be all exciting because you're finally done with Advanced Applied Analysis and that awful math project you've been working on all semester, but instead the last weeks of school are way more stressful than the rest of the semester combined.

It's like your teachers all realize at the exact same moment that you only have a week of classes left.

That means not only do you have to write those five term papers you've been putting off all semester, but now you also have to worry about a presentation, a take home quiz (because there wasn't time for it in class), three math homework assignments, and three online quizzes.  Not to mention, you've got those four finals coming up next week.

Seriously, that is what my last week of school looked like.

Needless to say (but I'll say it anyway) I've been quite stressed recently.  Because, did I mention that I haven't had a free weekend for the past month?

So, I've decided to start celebrating the little things in life.

For example, on Tuesday I celebrated the end of classes by eating pizza and sitting by the pool.

Then, Tuesday night I celebrated the fact that I managed to write a 7 page paper in under two hours (on account of I used my time earlier in the evening to sit by the aforementioned pool).

And then today I celebrated the fact that a cute guy made my smoothie at Jamba Juice. 

The fact that I also finished my math poster and two law essays was just icing on the cake.

Wednesday Nights

It's Wednesday, and that inevitably means that I have math homework due tomorrow.  It's the same thing every week.  I get the new assignment Thursday afternoon, and it is due the next Thursday morning.  Now that we are halfway through the semester you would think that I would have learned that I should not leave the 9 hour math assignment for Wednesday night.  But I'm an optimist, and I always hope that I'll magically be able to get my math homework done in a mere hour.

I can't.

So here we are again.  It's Wednesday night, about 10:30, and what do you know I haven't started my math homework yet.  In fact, I just barely looked at the assignment five minutes ago.  It's a long one... like multiple pages long.  So once again, I will be staying awake for the next four or five hours, faking my way through yet another Advanced Applied Analysis homework assignment.

Which brings me to my next point.

Shouldn't there be some sort of pre-req for Advanced Applied Analysis, such as Basic Applied Analysis?  I mean, seriously team, I feel like I really missed some of the concepts that are considered fundamental to the course - such as, an in depth knowledge of optical and/or fluid mechanics, the general idea behind physics and string theory, or even what applied analysis means.

Which leads me to my conclusion:

I hate math.  I hope one day to go back to that special place where math and I got along and I felt smart, but for right now, I'm just trying to make it though.  On the plus side, only 8 weeks left this semester.  A total of 12 classes to survive.  And then a year after that I'll be completely done with my math classes.  And that will be a happy day.  I'm thinking of hitting up law school next, because after math I feel like that should be a piece of cake**.  Or, perhaps I'll just eat some cake in celebration of being done with math.

(**For those of you actually in law school who know that it is in fact NOT a piece of cake, please keep your opinions to yourselves.  I am happy in my ignorance.)

Lessons I Learned As A Child - The Revised Edition

Apparently I hurt my mother's feelings with my last blog, by telling all three of you (my mother and two sisters) that I learned most of my lessons as a child from my teachers.  This was false information, and to prove that my mother did her job well, I'm now going to list the important lessons I learned from my parents, which will exceed the four lessons I mentioned learning from my teachers.

1) You can marry more in a minute than you can make in a lifetime.  Solid advice right there.

2) A clean floor = a happy mother = a happy family.

*Also, Marilyn Monroe got it wrong.  Vacuums are a girl’s best friend, not diamonds.*

3) When working on duets with your sister, it is best practiced with a mother saying counts above you and your sister fighting.

4) Brush your teeth.

5) You also taught me how to tie my shoes.  The right way.

6) You taught me how to drive.  Sorry that I learned that one poorly.

7) The safest place to be when you're in trouble is your room.  Hiding in the closet.  Then, when your parents are terrified because they can't find you, they'll forget that they're mad at you (thanks to help from Kyla on learning that one)

8) Most importantly, though, you taught me that you should never ask your mother for advice.  Because she'll say, "I'm not going to make decisions for you." And then when you make the wrong one, she'll just look at you disappointed-ly because you should have known better.  Just make the wrong choice without asking her opinion, and then you can claim ignorance.

Also, you taught me that you should never give up.  When it comes to piano.  Other things (like cheerleading, club swimming, math club, and the Harry Potter series) are fair game for giving up.

And that’s what I learned from my parents.

Lessons I Learned As A Child - Part 1

You learn a lot of important lessons as a child.  Some you learn from your parents, but most you learn from your teachers.  To me, teachers were like angels guiding me to my dark, unknown future.  My family still makes fun of me to this day, because of all the messages of wisdom I passed on from my teachers to them.  You want to know what my teacher says?  She says you need to stay with the goop.  (Apparently I didn’t know how to pronounce my ‘r’s’. Or my teacher was seriously confused.)  You want to know what my teacher says?  She says...

Well, I’ve started to notice a pattern with all these pieces of wisdom I’ve gathered.  They are all designed to prepare you for the future.  Like, in 4th grade when your teacher makes you use cursive all the time to prepare you for 5th grade.  But then you get to 5th grade and they could care less about whether you use cursive, but you better be sure to use a pen on all of your assignments, because they want to prepare you for 6th grade. And then you get to 6th grade, and all your preparation is in vain because you have to type all your assignments anyway - to prepare you for junior high, of course.

That’s how college is.

I learned all these valuable lessons as a child, to prepare me for life, and now NONE OF THEM APPLY.

For example, as a child you are taught to never take candy from a stranger.  Not in college.  You grab all the free stuff you can get - candy (wrapped or unwrapped, we don’t care), ice cream, soda, food handed out by unlicensed food handlers. . . we take it all.  I guess by the time you get to college no one is interested in poisoning or kidnapping you anymore.

On that same note, as a child you are taught to never talk to strangers, because strangers are scary and dangerous and such.  Not in college.  You sit down in your first class and your teacher already has you separated into groups with a bunch of strangers, because they want you to get to know everyone else in the class.

Third lesson I learned as a child: When it’s cold outside, you put a jacket on.  In college life this means: When it’s cold outside, you better put some boots on.  Otherwise, you’re going to be cold in that mini-skirt and tank top.

Which brings me to my final point.  As a child I was taught that math is used in real life all the time.  Now, teachers couldn’t always explain how the rule of the multiplicative inverse would help me out in life, but I trusted them.  And then I was taught a sad lesson in my astronomy class today.  You want to know the real reason why math exists?  It’s so that you can turn this:

“The acceleration of an object is dependent upon two variables - the net force acting upon the object and the mass of the object. The acceleration of an object depends directly upon the net force acting upon the object, and inversely upon the mass of the object. As the force acting upon an object is increased, the acceleration of the object is increased. As the mass of an object is increased, the acceleration of the object is decreased”

into

F = ma. 

Yep, that is why math exists.

You want to know how I know?  Cause my teacher told me, that’s how.

Advanced Engineering Mathematics

Today my $200 textbook arrived in the mail.  That I got for $150.  Yeah, it was a good day.

What fascinating subject will I be studying this semester?  Oh, that would just be Advanced Engineering Mathematics.  Apparently pre-reqs of basic engineering mathematics, physics, or advanced engineering concepts are not required. . .

Fantastic.

Is that Ironic?

There are many types of irony.  And yet, somehow, people still manage to incorrectly use the word “ironic”.

For example, it is NOT ironic that you were walking to class and saw your ex-boyfriend who you haven’t seen in six months.  Nothing about that situation is ironic.  It IS ironic if you jump on a train to escape the zombies, and then the train crashes into zombies.

Anyway, my sister and I have been discussing the correct use of ironic for a couple of weeks, and now every where I go I look for ironic situations.  Which brings me to my question:

Is it ironic that there is a math section in the public library?

Probably not.  But it is funny.

Which brings me to my story:  I was walking through the non-fiction section of the library, randomly searching for a good book to read (much harder than it sounds) when I saw the title “Mathematics” above one of the shelves. Win!  Who doesn’t want to read a book about math?  Oh, right. . .

Well, anyway, I decided to check out the math section of the library and this is what I found:  Of the four shelves, 3 were empty.  I’m assuming it’s because people now realize the joy that comes from math and have checked out all the good books.

This left the 1, mostly-empty, shelf.  The first book I saw was titled Calculus for Dummies.  Which I didn't really want because Calculus is for everyone, not just dummies.  Plus there was no book called The Book for People Who Think Calculus is Fun and Just Want Math Problems to Work on in Their Spare Time.

The other book was titled [something like] The Five Fingers of Mathematics.  I was unaware any fingers at all existed in math, so I opened the book.  I did not understand a single word in that book.  Seriously, I think they were speaking a different language.

And then I gave up on the math section, because you either have to be a dummy or a freaking genius to understand math apparently.

And as I was leaving the math section I came across this wonderfully enormous book called Miss Manner’s Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior.  And I snatched that book up as fast as I could, because that Ladies and Gentlemen is what a good book looks like.

Yard Work is Much Easier After it Rains

My backyard is a very sad-looking place. It’s very self-conscious, so I try and not talk about it too much, but seriously, it’s depressing out there.  It’s mostly dirt, with a few rocks.  Oh, and lots of weeds - dead weeds - which takes a true amount of un-dedication.

Anyway, my parents felt sorry for me, plus they love me, so they decided to come down this weekend and try and make my backyard presentable.  Side Note:  It totally does now.  Look presentable that is.  But that is not my story.

My story starts last Tuesday when I decided that rather than do homework I would go work on my backyard so my parents would have less work to do when they came down (I know, I’m such a thoughtful child).  I pretended to pull up a few weeds, but that was hard work, so instead I decided to try and remove a tree.  It was just a small tree and very dead, so I figured it shouldn’t be too hard, right?

Wrong.  Removing a tree from the ground is very difficult.  There’s all these roots and things underground and there is no “Underground PeepCam” like in Rollercoster Tycoon, so it’s very difficult to know what’s happening down there.  Consequently, I spent TWO hours trying to remove this stupid tree.  I literally stuck the shovel in the ground and was hanging on it with all my weight trying to get the tree to come out.  It took forever, but eventually I got the whole thing out, and I felt very accomplished.

Fast-forward to Saturday.  There was still another tree in the ground that I had not taken the two hours to remove yet.  So my dad goes out there, gets the shovel, and pulls the tree right out.  I think it literally took him 10 seconds.  What the freak?

But I refused to feel any less-accomplished, on account of it had just rained, which made the ground softer.  Clearly, his task was much easier than mine, so I am completely justified in taking 720 times as long to accomplish essentially the same thing.